Monthly Archives: October 2012

Chapter 40, “A New Chapter Begins”

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It has finally arrived.  Effective today, I have been permanently promoted to “civilian”.  We don’t often put it that way, but it is the constitutionally correct description of what I am today.  As a result, I now have constitutional rights which I abrogated on 7 May 1978, and I intend on exercising them, especially the most important, starting today!

It’s not really accurate to say I left the air Force today because, in fact, my air force left me a long time ago.  It wasn’t a sudden thing, like being thrown from a moving truck, but a slow insidious almost methodical breakup.  Like buying a new car and as the years go by, and the rattles start, and the suspension begins to creak, and the radio cuts out, eventually you realize it’s not that fun to drive it any more.

No organization is perfect, but when I went on active duty, I felt like I was a part of something so much bigger than I could comprehend. It had a clear mission, an obvious mission and, at least from my perspective at the bottom, leadership with direction.  Maybe I’ve just been in too long, but I’ve seen the air force take on a personality more like an inside the beltway politician than an organization sworn to “uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States”.  For example, this years’ FSA (Force Structure Announcement).  You didn’t have to be a genius to see that the only decision-making filter used was “What can we do to circumvent congress?”  You can have as many folks sign non-disclosure agreements as you want, but the truth always gets outs.  Not using any sort of cost benefit analysis to make informed decisions was the first mistake, but then to continue to stonewall the public by not responding to FOIA requests and giving inaccurate data to congressmen and staffers moves it into Saul Alinsky, “Rules for Radicals” territory.  Just repeat the lies often enough and they will become the truth.

It is the responsibility of the military to rise above the political fray and tell the truth.  If we’re asked to find ways to cut costs and make us more efficient, integrity demands that we set aside parochial arguments and execute our oath to “well and faithfully discharge the duties” of the office to which we have been appointed.  And that’s just the beginning.

Political correctness has infected the air force.  We are not airmen and airwomen, we are airmen.  Let’s stop driving wedges between people by feeling the need to he/she, him/her everything the we put in print.  Grow up, get over it.  We need to be blind to gender, race, religion, shoe size, and whatever else the left comes up with to Balkanize us.  We can’t afford to waste the time and manpower.  We need everyone who is willing to commit themselves to defending this country and we need to put to good use all of their talents.  My first assignment was in SAC (Strategic Air Command) flying the venerable B-52 and I eventually was in TAC, MAC, AMC, ACC, and AFRC.  But looking back, SAC was the command where I learned how to take care of families.  Every commander I had back then knew that the mission was tough and that families were an integral part of making it work.  There was no formal organization to send families to Disney world, but commanders were, well, commanders.  When you deployed, someone from the squadron would just show up at your house to mow the lawn, or shovel the snow because they knew your wife was home with a new baby or just had surgery.  It’s what commanders did and taught us to do.  Programs, especially government programs, can’t and shouldn’t replace people who really care.  I could go on, and in the future I will, but I want to close with something that happened yesterday as we all waited for Frankenstorm to smash the east coast.

We got a call from TACC with an interesting request.  They asked if they could start sending C-130s and C-17s to The 911th to begin a 24 hour airlift staging operation to support the impending relief efforts on the east coast.  The answer was, of course, yes and we would be able to begin receiving aircraft immediately.  Then we asked the question to which we already knew the answer: “Why did you pick Pittsburgh?”.  They answered: “We were sitting around trying to figure out what would be a strategic location within easy reach of the east coast with access to recovery assets, open 24 hours, and near other transportation hubs and Pittsburgh and the 911th was the obvious choice”  Shazzam!  A room full of Majors and LtCols took five minutes to figure out what a Pentagon full of generals couldn’t.

 

To Tina, Aazita, Diane, and Tracey;

I miss you all already!

Chapter 39.5

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Here’s a first for Hovering Over Send!  Guest blogger Mark Ables weighs in…….

 

Cultural change is a confounding challenge.  Let’s look at how far we’ve come in one area which I see no turning back on now.  I don’t know which CSAF (Chief of Staff of the Air Force)  decided that unmasking education in officer PRF/OPR’s  would promote airmen to continue pursuing higher education which nobody can argue isn’t good.  But when that happened, officers could no longer assume they’d make rank without PME or higher degrees.  Continuing education is essential, no dispute.   However, for our junior officers, when did outside education become more important than their Primary AFSC?  How many of you commanders have witnessed a young Lieutenant or junior Captain forging off getting higher degrees at the expense of their primary job?  Can you honestly say that today’s Air Force pilots (I can’t speak for other career fields) are as proficient, skilled or as immersed in their craft as we were 20 years ago?  Good or bad, I don’t know but it’s quite clear that command leadership has set in motion a trend which I think will pay dividends however we are experiencing some unintended consequences.  The Air Force isn’t a private corporation and our challenges are different than GE, Ford or Verizon.  Can someone answer this question;

Who is our customer?  and I don’t mean the military’s customer; the American people, I mean you the plodders, the AF workforce, who is your customer?? And for gosh sakes, not everyone is destined to be a commander.  There is honor in being the very best cook, civil engineer,  wrench turner or pilot!

Today’s  Junior Officers know that  in order to remain competitive for retention, being the best at whatever their AFSC won’t be enough, they’ll need to complete not only PME (Professioanl Military Education) but higher educational degrees.  Problem is, they’re off and running getting useless masters degrees before they are good at the jobs they were originally trained  to do and the reasons they joined the AF to begin with in many cases was to do that job.  General Welsh made a comment about this topic in a recent forum and I wonder what kind of detour the cultural shift will experience under his leadership, should be interesting.

Thanks Mark!

Chapter 39, If You Want the Cookie….

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I’m always surprised to see what lengths folks will go to kiss up to a new boss.

At my last base, we had a longstanding tradition of the finance guys bringing cookies to the FMB (Financial Management Board).  It all began under Gen Gjede’s watch.  After one exceptionally long FMB, which really shouldn’t have been that long, I made the comment that “If you’re going to keep us here for two and a half hours you could at least serve refreshments”.  Well, instead of taking the hint that the meeting should be shorter, they started bring cookies.  At least they were good cookies.  Chocolate Chip, Sugar, and my favorite, Oatmeal Raisin.  So, a tradition was born.  It lasted through two wing commanders but when the third one showed up, I won’t mention Karl’s name, things changed.

From day one it was obvious that the new boss was somewhat of a fitness nut/running addict.  No problem at all, that is, until the first FMB.  We all sat around the table and finance arrived with the standard stack of papers with lots of too small to read numbers and, a lovely cookie platter.  They dutifully slid the plate to the head of the table and the boss, with his nose turned ever so slightly up said “Oh, I don’t do cookies”.  And that’s all he had to say.  They all sat there for the next two hours talking UFRs, RPA, 727, 728, PBAS, and acronyms that I can’t wait to forget, and they watched the plate of cookies sit there and softly whisper “eat me, eat me, eat me……………”.  I, on the other hand, was happy to oblige the begging pastries and I put one out of its misery.  I think I heard it scream “Thank-you!!!” as it slid down my throat.

Two weeks later the boss was TDY so, as always, I had the joy of being acting Wing Commander for the week.  If you add up all of the weeks my Wing/CCs have been TDY over the last ten years, I’ve been a Wing Commander for over 2 years!  So, we had the standard Wednesday morning staff meeting and before we started, I felt it necessary to make a point.

“When we get a new commander, the only guarantee is that there will be change.  He’ll have his own priorities and, as his senior leadership team, we need to understand what he wants, support it, and communicate it down the chain.  We also need to act as a reality check to make sure he doesn’t go off the rails and get in trouble and we can’t be afraid to express our opinions.  But when push comes to shove, we do get the last two words, “Yes Sir”.  What you don’t have to do is to try to become him.  You don’t have to look like him, you don’t have to act like him, you don’t have to dress like him, you don’t have to talk like him, and you don’t have to eat like him.  So, if you want the cookie, eat the cookie.  Enough said.  Let’s look at the slides….”

Good followership is the first step to good leadership and good butt kissing shouldn’t even be in the formula.  If you’re the kind of leader that enjoys an occasional “peck on the patootie” or whose favorite movie is “The Stepford Wives” then you might want to consider rethinking your leadership style or maybe find a new line of work.

Sadly, they never did bring the cookies back!

Only one more “Hovering” before retirement!

Chapter 38, The Beaver

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First of all I’d like to thank everyone for a fantastic retirement event this past weekend.  You don’t know how much it all meant to me.  I was overwhelmed!  A special thanks to my girls.  My biological ones and my fellow Air Force ones whom I will miss every day.

 

I’ve been an Operations Group Commander for a really long time.  When you add it all up it comes to nearly ten years.  I’ve worked with many Mission Support Group commanders, but I’ve always thought the most important relationship for an OG was with the Maintenance Group commander.

I think I learned the lesson while watching an old TV show called “Baa Baa Black Sheep”.  It starred Robert Conrad as Pappy Boyington and it only ran from 1976-1978, but it left a lasting impression on me.  There was the crusty old crew chief always complaining about the “flyboys busting up his airplane”, but it was all bluster to cover up the interdependence of flyers with their maintainers and the mutual respect they had.  I’ve always tried to nurture that relationship but, oddly, the three best MXGs I’ve worked with haven’t been crusty at all, they’ve all been women. (Although I’m not implying that women can’t be crusty!)

All three have had completely different leadership styles but this week I’m dedicating my story to Anna.  She was my first……MXG and when she came to Youngstown I thought she was rather, shall I say, stiff.  Let me explain that.  It was in no way a bad thing.  She was all business, and I’m not sure if she got my sense of humor or my whimsical way of looking at life.  As a result, I was determined to “loosen her up’ a bit.  Months went by and I wasn’t really sure I was making headway so when this incident occurred I wasn’t quite sure how to take her .

The AOB or Airfield Operations Board is a meeting held quarterly and chaired by the OG, me.  Every organization that has any part in running an airfield attends so at an active duty base it would be a meeting between a lot of military organizations discussing issues with runway construction, and grass mowing to keep the birds away, and airspace issues around the field, and base operations manning, RAPCON issues, you get the picture.  But at a reserve base, there are many civilian organizations involved since we don’t really own the airport. It makes for a much more interesting and engaging meeting and it helps build a strong relationship between all parties involved.  One meeting ended up being much more interesting than most.

We had all gathered in my conference room.  All told, almost twenty people.  We had folks from the Port Authority, civil engineering, base ops, approach control, safety, airspace manager, tower controllers and, the lone woman, Anna, the Maintenance Group Commander.  We followed the agenda for the meeting and everyone had a chance to discuss their particular area of expertise and how it could affect the flying operations at Youngstown.  We had gone around the room and the last one to speak was Jack.  Jack was “the guy”.  By that, I mean he was the guy that had been at the airport forever.  He worked for the Port Authority and if you wanted to know anything about the history of the airport or how and why decisions had been made about anything, he knew the answer.  He is a very quiet man and unassuming, but if Jack said that there was a problem you’d better believe it was serious.  On this particular day, we had a problem.

I asked, “Do you have anything for us Jack?” and shaking his head slowly from side to side he said, “We have a serious beaver problem here on the airport”.  I was truly surprised.  Finally something interesting to discuss at an AOB!  I never suspected that beavers could be a problem at an airport, but he went on to describe how the diligent critters had built a series of dams along the creek at the southwestern edge of the airport and the water was actually backing up and submerging the end of the small runway.  Who would have thought?  So I asked them how they were dealing with the problem and he said that they had hired a local trapper to kill the beavers and they had already killed three with one weighing in at nearly 75 pounds.  I thought we were finished but then Anna broke in, she calmly turned to me, looked me straight in the eye, and simply asked, “Can you eat beaver?”

Time stood still for an instant while every head in the room turned to me.  I knew what they wanted.  I knew what they expected.  They wanted me to take the slow curve and swing for the fence.  But being the sensitive, politically correct person that I am, I simply paused, turned to her with a straight face and said “I suppose so, if you’re into that sort of thing”.  She seemed satisfied and I asked if there were any other questions or comments. With every eye still fixated on me we finished the meeting. As everyone began to push back from the table, Anna hopped up and announced that she was late for another meeting so she bounded out the door and was gone.  The second her footsteps went silent down the hall, the room erupted into laughter, like I had never heard before.  Grown men with tears streaming down their cheeks.  Faces red as apples, and it went for a good 15 minutes.  We had a million one liners that popped into our heads that day, but not using any of them, in the moment, made it all the funnier.

I never found out the real reason Anna asked the question.  Was she lobbing me the slow pitch so I could hit it out of the park?  Or did she really want to know  what culinary delights could be created from rapacious rodents?

When she transferred from Youngstown we threw her a going away party and I told this story.  After telling it I answered the question by presenting her with a stuffed toy beaver on a platter, apple in its mouth, on a bed of plastic vegetables and lettuce.

Chapter 37, The Most Important Thing, Part 3

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Third and final week of “the most important thing”.

Several weeks ago I talked about ROTC and how I got through by following the sage advice of my ROTC instructor.  Well I took that lesson to heart and when I reported to active duty I decided that I would do all of the right things to get to where I, and the Air Force, thought I should go.  When you’re a lieutenant life is simple.  Your #1 goal is to fly.  That is, after all, why you became a pilot.  The progression is pretty obvious.  Upgrade to aircraft commander.  Then after a couple years instructor and, eventually, flight examiner. After that though, it gets complicated.

Guys that like to fly, and are good at it, want nothing more than to stay in a flying job for as long as possible.  But then there are the guys who either aren’t very good pilots or only became pilots as a career path to, shall we say, the “stars”.  That’s all well and good, but the Air Force has decided that everyone needs to reach for the “stars” or hit the bricks. Over my 34+ years the Air Force has gradually evolved into an, even more so, up or out organization.

I remember decades ago that everyone was encouraged to do PME, Professional Military Education.  Most guys did it, but if you were really good at your job and were an expert in some area, then you could get promoted without PME.  Those days are long gone.  It has gradually evolved into you MUST complete PME to even think about promotion, and I understand on active duty it’s not even good enough to do it by correspondence.  The problem is, once everyone is getting it done, then what becomes the next differentiator to make you stand out on a promotion board?  That led to whether or not you had deployed becoming the “most important thing”.  That worked for awhile but eventually, after a ten year war, everyone had deployed.  So what’s the new ‘most important thing’?  A Master’s degree of course.  So, now, while doing your job, deploying oversees, attending PME which in residence can take a year, you now have to go to classes to get a Master’s degree.  I’m sure the next step is to include fit-to-fight scores in your career brief and beyond that, a doctorate is the next logical step.

The Air Force pays endless lip service to taking care of airmen and their families yet insists that time that should be spent with the kids on their homework is spent on yours.  And, sadly, somewhere lost in all of the Air Force “most important things” is the thing that really should be your career’s “most important thing” and that’s doing your job the best you can.  Not maneuvering to get the next job or dreaming of the job after that, but giving the taxpayers what they deserve and have paid an enormous amount of money to train you for.  The cost to train an Air Force Pilot is well over a million dollars but most officers spend less than a third of their careers actually flying.  Careerism is a cancer that devours tax dollars and leads to thousands of talented airmen leaving the Air Force each year out of frustration and disappointment.

I left active duty 28 years ago for a variety of reasons and I found what I thought was heaven on earth in the Air Force Reserves.  I could fly my whole career, or not, it was my choice.  The experience level of the aircrew was light years ahead of active duty and people were here because they really wanted to be here.  But, times have been a changin’.  Over the last 10-15 years we have been adopting the mentality of Active Duty.  Priorities have changed and now, moving up and around, for not only ARTs but for reservists, has become the “most important thing”.  And when the mission is given second stage, and civilian jobs third stage and families fourth stage, and all sacrificed at the altar of almighty “careerism”, we have little hope of surviving as a command.  The differences in our people and our priorities is what made us what we are today and abandoning those strengths will simply make us “unnecessary”.

I don’t know what the future holds for AFRC.  I’ve always thought that it should be the “big brother” in the air force.  We should be watching over active duty and when it comes up with a boneheaded idea, that’s been tried and failed 20 years ago, have the gravitas to tell them so and them listen to us.  Instead, we find ourselves saying “me too” like the overeager little brother and then suffering the consequences.  We need to continue to be a voice of reason and experience and to concentrate on our strengths.  We know what the “most important thing” is and we need to keep doing it.

More fun stories next week!

Chapter 36, The Trials of Tall

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I was asked one question of last weeks’ chapter and I appreciate Shawn’s query.  It was: “What happened to the hot girl your were dating?”  Peg didn’t appreciate the implication of the question, but the answer is simple.  I’ve been married to her for 33 years.

I am a freak of nature.  Combine my 6’5” frame with my oversized noggin and you get someone capable of frightening small animals and children without uttering a word.  Oddly, I’ve never really considered myself tall.  In fact, I grew up thinking I was average.  My dad was 6’3”, my mother 5’9” and as they pumped out progeny we kept getting taller.  My little brother Tim is 6’7” and my sister Kelly is 6’0”.  It’s really all about perspective, but I have come to the opinion over the years that being tall can be a blessing or a curse.  I never wanted to be shorter or taller, but oftentimes those that are “differently statured” wish they were taller. Be careful what you wish for.  Let’s look at the facts.

Clothes – Good luck!  I don’t wear shorts, as often as I do, to show off my not so attractive legs.  It’s nearly impossible, or cost prohibitive, to find pants long enough for my 38” inseam.  When I try most pants on they look like Capris, or, as I call them, Manpris. Shirts are even more difficult.  I’ve never owned a long sleeve Air Force blue shirt because I’ve never been able to find one with a 38” sleeve.  Most of the time I feel like Lurch from the Adam’s Family or, with a few bolts in the right spot, Frankenstein.  For most people, if your shirt or pants are too long, you can always cut some off.  But If they’re too short, you’re out of luck.  I finally solved my flight suit problem by getting oversized ones that droop down to give the appearance of longer legs but the crotch hangs halfway to my knees.

Cars – I know I get odd looks climbing out of my Jetta, but I fit because Germans tend be tall and they design their cars accordingly.  Otherwise, there are cars that I can’t actually physically drive.  Dave Mitchell once asked me to take his Mazda RX-7 in for service while he was TDY and I had to drive it with the door open because there wasn’t enough room between the steering wheel and the door for my knee.  I’ve actually had to pay for size upgrades on rentals (mostly GM products) because I couldn’t get my legs under the steering wheel.

Fitting – I have hit my head on door frames, store displays, automatic door closers, ceilings in one and a half story houses (like the one I grew up in), overhead bins in airplanes, and ceiling fans, just to name a few.  Flying commercial is torture.  I just have to pray the person in front of me doesn’t recline their seat.

Longevity – There are over 40 studies that show a direct correlation between height and life expectancy and the results don’t favor me!

Don’t get me wrong, there are some advantages.  If you’re trying to make your way through a large crowd it’s extremely helpful.  My daughter Erin revealed to me several years ago that at a very young age she learned that just tucking in close behind me was the easiest way to get through a crowd.  But, on the other hand, you stick out like a sore thumb and there’s nowhere to hide.  If you really do want to intimidate someone, standing tall and getting close does the trick.  But, for some mysterious reason, drunks like to pick fights with the biggest guy in the room.  Another reason to stay out of bars!

So where am I going with this discussion?  I have, very intentionally, over my career attempted to mitigate the effects of my size on my coworkers.  I don’t believe in leadership by intimidation so I usually sit in a chair, or on the corner of a table, or lean against something so that I can look folks in the eye.  I make fun of myself and look for something funny to say so I don’t come off as Godzilla when I enter a conversation.  And luckily, everyone looks like a giant to children so I don’t actually look so large to them.  And I love getting down on all fours to see the world through their eyes and picking them up to give them a view through mine.

The most important thing (there it is!) is to be approachable, not intimidating, to make people feel comfortable and willing to speak freely. Tall or short, big head or little head, male or female, thin or fat, it doesn’t matter what you look like.  Wait, strike the “fat”, this is the Air Force, only thin people can be great leaders. Thin or less thin, we need the talents that everyone brings to the table to get the job done. Physically, we are what we are and we can do very little to change that.  But we can consciously change who we are emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

When I was going into the ninth grade I decided to try out for basketball.  I was 5’9”, which for an 8th grader was pretty tall, but I knew nothing about basketball.  I couldn’t dribble or shoot or, for that matter, “walk and chew gum” at the same time but I tried and was immediately cut on the first day.  So I went out for track.  When I came back to school the next year, and was going into tenth grade, I was 6’4”.  Needless to say there were lots of leg cramps and new clothes that summer.  The basketball coach walked up to me on the first day of class and with a big smile on his face looked up at me and asked “Can I count on you for basketball this year?” to which I replied, “I wasn’t good enough last year and I’m no better this year”.

I ran track for three more years.