I was asked one question of last weeks’ chapter and I appreciate Shawn’s query.  It was: “What happened to the hot girl your were dating?”  Peg didn’t appreciate the implication of the question, but the answer is simple.  I’ve been married to her for 33 years.

I am a freak of nature.  Combine my 6’5” frame with my oversized noggin and you get someone capable of frightening small animals and children without uttering a word.  Oddly, I’ve never really considered myself tall.  In fact, I grew up thinking I was average.  My dad was 6’3”, my mother 5’9” and as they pumped out progeny we kept getting taller.  My little brother Tim is 6’7” and my sister Kelly is 6’0”.  It’s really all about perspective, but I have come to the opinion over the years that being tall can be a blessing or a curse.  I never wanted to be shorter or taller, but oftentimes those that are “differently statured” wish they were taller. Be careful what you wish for.  Let’s look at the facts.

Clothes – Good luck!  I don’t wear shorts, as often as I do, to show off my not so attractive legs.  It’s nearly impossible, or cost prohibitive, to find pants long enough for my 38” inseam.  When I try most pants on they look like Capris, or, as I call them, Manpris. Shirts are even more difficult.  I’ve never owned a long sleeve Air Force blue shirt because I’ve never been able to find one with a 38” sleeve.  Most of the time I feel like Lurch from the Adam’s Family or, with a few bolts in the right spot, Frankenstein.  For most people, if your shirt or pants are too long, you can always cut some off.  But If they’re too short, you’re out of luck.  I finally solved my flight suit problem by getting oversized ones that droop down to give the appearance of longer legs but the crotch hangs halfway to my knees.

Cars – I know I get odd looks climbing out of my Jetta, but I fit because Germans tend be tall and they design their cars accordingly.  Otherwise, there are cars that I can’t actually physically drive.  Dave Mitchell once asked me to take his Mazda RX-7 in for service while he was TDY and I had to drive it with the door open because there wasn’t enough room between the steering wheel and the door for my knee.  I’ve actually had to pay for size upgrades on rentals (mostly GM products) because I couldn’t get my legs under the steering wheel.

Fitting – I have hit my head on door frames, store displays, automatic door closers, ceilings in one and a half story houses (like the one I grew up in), overhead bins in airplanes, and ceiling fans, just to name a few.  Flying commercial is torture.  I just have to pray the person in front of me doesn’t recline their seat.

Longevity – There are over 40 studies that show a direct correlation between height and life expectancy and the results don’t favor me!

Don’t get me wrong, there are some advantages.  If you’re trying to make your way through a large crowd it’s extremely helpful.  My daughter Erin revealed to me several years ago that at a very young age she learned that just tucking in close behind me was the easiest way to get through a crowd.  But, on the other hand, you stick out like a sore thumb and there’s nowhere to hide.  If you really do want to intimidate someone, standing tall and getting close does the trick.  But, for some mysterious reason, drunks like to pick fights with the biggest guy in the room.  Another reason to stay out of bars!

So where am I going with this discussion?  I have, very intentionally, over my career attempted to mitigate the effects of my size on my coworkers.  I don’t believe in leadership by intimidation so I usually sit in a chair, or on the corner of a table, or lean against something so that I can look folks in the eye.  I make fun of myself and look for something funny to say so I don’t come off as Godzilla when I enter a conversation.  And luckily, everyone looks like a giant to children so I don’t actually look so large to them.  And I love getting down on all fours to see the world through their eyes and picking them up to give them a view through mine.

The most important thing (there it is!) is to be approachable, not intimidating, to make people feel comfortable and willing to speak freely. Tall or short, big head or little head, male or female, thin or fat, it doesn’t matter what you look like.  Wait, strike the “fat”, this is the Air Force, only thin people can be great leaders. Thin or less thin, we need the talents that everyone brings to the table to get the job done. Physically, we are what we are and we can do very little to change that.  But we can consciously change who we are emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

When I was going into the ninth grade I decided to try out for basketball.  I was 5’9”, which for an 8^th grader was pretty tall, but I knew nothing about basketball.  I couldn’t dribble or shoot or, for that matter, “walk and chew gum” at the same time but I tried and was immediately cut on the first day.  So I went out for track.  When I came back to school the next year, and was going into tenth grade, I was 6’4”.  Needless to say there were lots of leg cramps and new clothes that summer.  The basketball coach walked up to me on the first day of class and with a big smile on his face looked up at me and asked “Can I count on you for basketball this year?” to which I replied, “I wasn’t good enough last year and I’m no better this year”.

I ran track for three more years.