I’ve written before about how important it is for an organization to communicate effectively and accurately with the local community.  It can be a corporation, a government agency, a military unit, a non-profit, or a church.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s true for any organization but, at the core, it has to be all about transparency and honesty.  Let me give you an example.

Aerial spray, by its’ very nature, has a huge potential for causing massive public outcry.  Large aircraft flying very close to the ground spraying chemicals over populated areas, who would complain about that?  Amazingly, the answer is, very few people.  And the reason has everything to do with communication.  When spraying operations are going to be done there is always a campaign to inform the local population of the timing of the mission, the effects of the spraying and the direct benefits to the community.  There are interviews on radio and TV, newspaper articles, and online community bulletin board posts all aimed at reaching as many folks as possible.  Lots of legwork which pays huge dividends.  In fact, even the conspiracy theorists defend the spray operations.

I used to regularly surf the “Chemtrails” websites and blog posts looking for rumbles about aerial spray.  If you’re not familiar with the “Chemtrails” folks, they believe that the government is spraying chemicals from high altitude over the public to control the population and that many of the contrails you see in the sky are actually dangerous “Chemtrails”.  I’m not going to argue the merits of the claim, I just want to point out that, when a conspiracy theorist starts pointing a finger at the aerial spray mission on the internet, he is immediately shouted down by his fellow aluminum hat wearers.  They explain what the mission actually is and how it benefits everyone.  Effective PR has even educated the uneducatable.

So, what does this have to do with me telling today’s story.  Here goes.

The first public affairs guy I had a close working relationship was a guy named Jerry.  He was a soft-spoken, little LtCol who would give you the shirt off his back if you asked and he loved his job.  Back in the day we had a variety of orientation flights we would accomplish to educate the public on what we do in the reserves.  There were civic leader flights, spouse flights, Explorer Scout flights, and even clergy flights.  We would also occasionally do media flights.  These were designed to give the media a chance to experience the mission and potentially do a feature piece on the unit or at the very least get some “B” roll for future news stories.  I would be happy if they could just figure out the difference between a C-130 and a KC-135!  Just last month KDKA screwed it up again, but I digress.  All of that being said, on a sunny summer day, Jerry put together a media flight for all of the local stations.  And since the weather was so nice, and it was a slow news day, they all showed up.

Now you would think that a public affairs officer at an air force flying unit would probably love to fly, but you would be wrong.  Jerry was what one would call a “reluctant flyer”.  He flew when he had to but he didn’t really like it.  So when he showed up with reporters and cameramen in tow and told us he wasn’t really feeling well we weren’t surprised.  The aircraft commander, Dan Gabler, gave them the standard “dog and pony show” in the briefing room and then walked them out to the airplane.  The flight profile was what we considered our standard “show and tell” mission.  It consisted of flying out to the Laurel Highlands, circling Seven Springs a couple of time,  and then returning to downtown Pittsburgh for some low altitude photo passes over the city.  The media would talk with the crew in flight and take stills and videos in and out to the airplane.  Low risk mission, piece of cake.  At least that’s what we thought.

About 30 minutes after takeoff a call came in on the radio.  The aircraft was declaring an emergency, returning to the field, and was requesting an ambulance.  Great, just what you want on a flight with the media onboard, a readymade news story.  And probably not a positive one.  The crew was obviously busy so we didn’t press them for details.  All we could get out of them was that it was some sort of physiological incident which told us that it probably wasn’t an injury.  At least that was a little reassuring.

When the aircraft landed and the ambulance had responded I walked out to the airplane to assess the damage, both physically and PR.  I found Jerry, in a stretcher, unconscious, pale, and being wheeled out to the ambulance.  Dan was obviously concerned and after the ambulance sped off to the hospital he finally had the time to tell the sordid story.

Shortly after takeoff Jerry had started to exhibit signs of airsickness.  Vomiting ensued but then another symptom emerged which has nothing to do with airsickness, in fact it falls into the opposite end of the “spectrum” if you catch my drift.  Jerry quickly went catatonic but Dan was able to drag him back to the toilet, which in a Herc is out in the open in the back of the plane, get his pants down, and flop him on the toilet where he proceeded to explode from both ends, in a state of semi-consciousness, for the remainder of the flight.  It’s not really an approved seat for landing but, given the circumstances, it was the only prudent alternative.  I’m sure the media was impressed but, in an amazing display of restraint, they unanimously decided to not report the event on the 6:00 news.  They probably just couldn’t figure out how to report it in a FCC acceptable way.

Jerry spent the rest of the day in the hospital, on an IV, getting his fluid levels up and then stayed home a few more days getting over the flu.  Clearly airsickness and an intestinal flu are not a good combination.  We did present him with the first “Power Puking and Pooping Award” at the next UTA.  I’m sure he treasures it to this day.